I’ll admit it; I am one. I didn’t used to be – I held out for as long as I could. I held out, not for reasons of principle, but because I hadn’t grasped the nature of the thing. I didn’t get it.
Now…well ok, I still don’t get it, but I’ve succumbed; I’ve familiarised myself with the compulsion to follow, and attract followers. They call us tweeters, most likely because they felt they ought to avoid dubbing us twits, but believe me; if you’re doing it in the same clueless, hopelessly hopeful way that I am doing it, twit is the appropriate term.
There’s a new sort of indignation in my life – the “I follow you but you don’t follow me back” type. As if I needed it; I was indignant most of the time as it was. The appropriate response to this new outrage is, of course, “I unfollow you!”.
I spent ninety minutes yesterday unfollowing people. And that’s not a sentence I ever expected to find myself typing. I still follow more than I am followed by, which I’m sure places me in the lower ranks of the twitter classes. But it’s early days.
Hey, why don’t you follow me? Would you like to do that? Of course you would! You can do it here, by pressing the follow button, and I would follow you back! It would be difficult to tell who was following who, but let’s do it anyway!
Actually, while we’re on the subject of pressing buttons, have you rated any of my posts? Or retweeted any? Or shared on Facebook? Or, crucially, subscribed to this blog by pressing the subscribe button at the bottom right of the home page?
I didn’t think so.
I want you to go and do those things before you follow me. When you’ve done them, then follow me. And I’ll follow you. Its best if we don’t get into the reasons why, and just go with it.
And for those of you who don’t want to play along, I unfollow you. That’s right, you heard me.
I unfollow you.